


I don’t need Geralt right?

by Kapoen



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental overdose, Allergies, Drowning, F/M, Gen, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Takes Care of Jaskier | Dandelion, Getting Arrested, Ghosts, Head Injury, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Hurt/Comfort, Jaskier | Dandelion Can Take Care of Himself, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rash on groin, hidding injury’s, monster killing, short sex scene, treats of being killed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:54:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25649869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kapoen/pseuds/Kapoen
Summary: Jaskier is a twenty year old adult. Following the witcher for a year. He can take care of himself. He doesn’t need Geralt. Right?Or maybe not… Jaskier gets an allergic reaction after an intimate massage, takes a bath in a freezing creek, fakes an head injury, tries to survive in the woods to escape a killer and much more. It’s just not his day, or week or year is it?A story with a lot of Jaskier whump and Geralt who tries to make it better and keep him safe.
Relationships: Eskel & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Eskel & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Lambert, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion & Lambert, Jaskier | Dandelion/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 80





	1. Allergies

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language so there will be spelling and grammar mistakes in this story. I did my best te find most of them :)
> 
> Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier has an allergic reaction to an oil. He doesn’t want to tell Geralt about it

**Chapter 1 allergies**

Jaskier couldn’t keep his eyes off her. “I live in the small red house on the left of this inn. We can’t leave together. I’m married after all. Follow me in ten minutes” the red haired woman whispered in his ear. Jaskier could only nod. He had fallen in love. She was so beautiful. He watched her walk out of the inn. He turned to Geralt who was drinking ale in the corner. He walked over and sat down. 

“You’re not going,” Geralt said. “What, of course I will”. Geralt shook his head. “I don’t want to be forced to leave this town tonight”. Jaskier smiled. “You won’t. Her husband is away. She is so beautiful, Geralt. I think I’m in love”. 

Geralt kicked him under the table. “You are not in love. You will not go!”. Jaskier felt himself getting angry. “I’m twenty, a grown man, I can sleep with whoever I want” he snapped. 

“Then act like one! You didn’t really show it this year since we are traveling together. A grown man doesn’t sleep knowingly with married women. He would know that is wrong”. 

Jaskier shook his head. “Well you're not my keeper or my father so I do as I please”. Geralt bared his teeth. That didn’t scare Jaskier anymore, never really did. “Well don’t think I will be cleaning you up, if they beat you up again”. 

Jaskier stood up. “I never asked that of you Geralt. I can take care of myself. I don’t need you”. He walked away. He didn’t need Geralt, right?

Geralt always forbade him to do the things he liked. “No Jaskier we won’t visit the feast” or “No of course we won’t buy a tent”. He knew Geralt meant it well. They had been traveling together for over a year now. 

Geralt didn’t try to send him away anymore. So now he had started telling Jaskier what he could and couldn’t do. Well Jaskier didn’t need him for that. He left his home when he was seventeen, he survived without the witcher before, he didn’t need his protection. 

He smiled when the red haired woman opened the door and quickly pulled him in. “We are going to have an incredible night” she whispered in his ear. 

Jaskier took off his doublet and tunic. The red haired woman, now between his legs, was so beautiful. This was going to be a perfect night. 

She was slowly kissing him. Her hand on his chest playing with his chest hair. “You’re amazing,” he whispered. She met his eyes quickly. “I know,” she said. 

It didn’t take long before they both were completely naked. “Can I give you a massage?” the woman asked. Jaskier smiled at her. “Please dear lady. I would love that”. 

She picked up a small vial with oil and opened it. “Let's start here” she joked. She started to put the oil on his tights, groin and behind, teasing him as she did it. Her hands moved over his legs stopping by his knees. 

Jaskier relaxed and leaned back. He took a deep breath. Wait? Was that coconut? Oh no! Everything but that. “Stop! Are you using coconut?”. He didn’t have to wait for her answer because it started to itch. Stupid allergic reactions!

“Sweetheart I’m home” it suddenly sounded. The woman looked shocked and jumped out of the bed. She hurried to get dressed. “I’m coming darling” she yelled back. 

Jaskier started to put his clothes on as well. Hopefully her husband wouldn’t come in. He hated it that Geralt had been right again. 

Well great! He had an itching, red butt that hurt like hell, no sex and he had to tell Geralt he had been right. In a few minutes a fantastic evening turned in a complete disaster. 

“Take the window” the woman said, giving him a quick kiss before leaving the room. Great, the window again. He opened it and jumped out, lucky for him it was just a few meters, a broken ankle or leg would have made this the worst evening ever. 

He only hurt his head on the small opening of the window. It wasn’t bad but he would have a nice bruise. 

He hurried back to the inn. He needed a bath, a cold bath so his burning skin could cool off. He also needed healing salve, a lot of healing salve! It would be fine. He dealt with this kind of allergic reaction before. Cold water and salve would heal him in a day. 

He took two steps at one time when he reached the stairs of the inn and hurried to their room. When he opened the door, he stopped. Geralt was sitting on the bed cleaning his swords. “Jaskier, back already,” he said surprised. 

“Geralt” his voice was slightly higher than normal. “Yeah well, I…” 

Geralt held his hand up. “I was right wasn’t I”. Jaskier shook his head angry. “Did he chase you?” Geralt asked. “No, why do you think that?”. 

Geralt raised his eyebrows. “You came running in here like you were chased”. Oh yeah, maybe that was true. “I’m just tired, to tired for sex” he said. Geralt shook his head. “Liar. Did he hurt you?”

Jaskier was not going to give Geralt the satisfaction to find out he had been hurt just like he had predicted. Maybe not by an angry husband but he didn’t think that would matter for Geralt. 

Geralt returned his attention to his sword. “We are leaving early tomorrow”. Jaskier made an angry sound. “Fine! That’s completely fine. Could you borrow me some coin for a bath”. 

Geralt looked up shortly. “We just had a bath yesterday. You don’t need one. It would be a waste of coin”. Jaskier sighed “I just really feel like washing” he said. 

Geralt put his sword down and looked him up and down with suspicion. “Jaskier, is there something you should tell me”, Jaskier shook his head. “There is one bucket with some clean water to use,” Geralt said, picking up his sword again. 

Jaskier tried to cool down his burning skin as well as he could with the lukewarm water. It didn’t help much. But a bigger problem was the healing salve. Geralt already packed all of their stuff to leave early tomorrow. Including the healing salve. He couldn’t ask for it. Geralt would demand to know where he needed it for and no way he was going to tell Geralt what happened he had too much pride for that. He would just have to wait until Geralt slept before getting the salve and using it. 

He dressed down to his underclothes and lay down in the bed. Geralt was already in there taking much of the blankets. “Good night Geralt,” Jaskier said. Geralt murmured something back. 

Jaskier waited for two hours before quietly leaving the bed. He was almost desperate. It itches and hurts and the warmth in the room made it worse. 

He listened to Geralt calm breathing and slowly opened his back. There were so many vials and jars in there. It took a while before he found the right jar. He took it out feeling relieved. 

“What are you doing?” Jaskier almost dropped the jar looking at the now open yellow eyes. 

“Geralt” he said slightly panicking. Geralt took him in, his eyes stopped by the jar. “Where are you hurt?” he asked, sitting up. 

Jaskier bit his lip, he felt his heart almost bonking out of his chest. Geralt would hear that. “My head” he doesn’t know why he said that. His head doesn’t hurt at all. “I hit it on the window when I left the lady. I wanted to put salve on it”. 

Geralt looked him up and down again. “You should have told me. I warned you. Dammit Jaskier! Show me”. He got out of the bed and pushed Jaskiers head down and started to look for the bruise. Jaskier felt embarrassed. Geralt had been right again. 

“There is a really small bump here. Does it really hurt so bad you need salve?” he asked, surprised. “Well, it really hurts a lot,” Jaskier said irritated by Geralt and finding it almost impossible to stand still. 

“I will put some salve on it then, you are such a child. Do you want me to kiss it better as well”. He joked while he took the jar from Jaskier and opened it. “I can do it myself,” Jaskier said irritated. 

“You can’t see in the dark,” Geralt said. Putting a tiny bit of salve on the bumd and he closed the jar again. “Sleep” Geralt commanded him. Jaskier layed down again. He felt tears in his eyes. He should tell Geralt the truth. 

“Geralt” he started but Geralt didn’t answer and Jaskier didn’t dare to try to get the healing salve again.

The next morning Jaskier was tired. He hadn’t slept at all. His lower body itched and itched, it hurt and some spots where even bleeding a bit. He dressed quietly. 

“How is your head?” Geralt asked. 

“Fine” Jaskier answered slowly. He packed his stuff and followed Geralt out of the inn. 


	2. Walking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier tries to hide his allergic reaction with all it’s consequences.

**Chapter 2 Walking**

Not telling Geralt was a mistake, a big mistake. But he couldn’t tell him now, right? It was embarrassing. Walking hurt so much, he almost couldn’t keep up with Geralt. 

Singing cost too much energy as well and he felt like he could fall down every minute. Geralt kept sending him annoyed looks. Since Geralt couldn’t find out he had to make sure he never saw him scratch. He couldn’t do this for much longer. 

Jaskier tried to think of a reason to stop. But he couldn’t think of anything without telling the truth. 

“Can we take a break Geralt” he asked. “No we only left town three hours ago” Geralt said. “But nature calls” he tried not finding a better excuse to ask for a break. 

Geralt stopped Roach. “Fine, but be quick”. 

Jaskier run into the woods. Making sure Geralt couldn’t see him and started to itch. He needed to do something or he would scratch his skin of if he didn’t find another solution quickly. 

Suddenly his eyes fell on a small creek in the woods. The water looked so cold! Without thinking he kicked his boots off, threw his lute on the ground and jumped in. Not even taking the time to take off his clothes. 

The water was so nice, just what he needed. The water was ice cold of course it was, it is almost winter after all. The itching stopped, that was the only important thing for now. He leaned back and found himself relaxing for the first time in hours. 

“What the… Jaskier” oh shit Geralt didn’t sound happy. Geralt gripped his arms and carried or more like manhandled him out of the creek. 

Water was dripping of him. Gerart lifted him up so his face was in front of Geralt’s. “What are you doing?” He demands. “I was bathing, the water was lovely. You should try it” he said. Geralt shakes him. 

“Bathing? The water is freezing cold and you still have your clothes on. You are giving yourself hypothermia. Did you lose your brain?” Geralt put him down Jaskier saw his face, Geralt was realizing something. 

Before he could ask what Geralt’s hands were on him again. 

“Let me see your head” he pushed Jaskier’s head down to inspect the head wound. “Humans, the dump isn’t even that big. But it’s still a head injury. You probably have a concussion. Your acting like this because of that. It’s not your fault” Geralt decided.

“I don’t think it’s that bad” Jaskier tried but Geralt shook his head. “It’s okay Jaskier, you will not die. Your just not in your right mind at the moment. That’s why you took a bath in the creek. I will help you”. 

He took Jaskier’s arm again, picking up his boots and lute and gently pushed him to Roach. 

“Put some dry clothes on” Geralt said. Jaskier knew Geralt was trying to sound calm and nice for his sake. He probably didn’t want to scare his ‘confused’ bard. Jaskier knew that he should say something but the lie was getting to big. He couldn’t tell the truth now. 

He slowly took his jacket, shirt and his trousers off. Geralt was getting dry clothes out of Roach's saddle bag. Jaskier kept his underclothes on. “Those too Jaskier” Geralt said slowly, if he was really stupid. Jaskier shook his head. The wet linen was still cold and felt fantastic on his red skin it kept the itch away. Even if that wasn’t the case he couldn’t really show Geralt the rash. 

“Jaskier you will get a cold, take them off now” Geralt didn’t sound patient anymore.

Geralt hands Jaskier a dry shirt and pants. “I keep them on,” Jaskier said, not wanting to lose the only thing that helped his painful bottom. “Come here” `Geralt tried to grab him probably so he could take them off himself. 

“No” Jaskier stepped back. 

“Jaskier dammit, come here. It's for your own sake” he tried to catch Jaskier again. Jaskier turned around and started running. “I keep them on. Leave me alone” he yelled. 

He looked around to see how close Geralt was, he couldn’t really outrun the witcher. He tried to think of a plan when something sharp cut his still bare left foot. He fall on the ground. 

“Auwww” he yelled holding his foot. 

Geralt sat down next to him and took his foot in his hand. “Just a splinter” he said he sounded relieved. “You see what happens when you act so childish”. Geralt shook his head and walked over to Roach and came back with a small knife and a bandage. Jaskier took hold of his foot again. 

“Don’t cut my foot,” he cried. “If I had known that a head injury would make you such a fool I would have left you in the inn. I’m just going to take the splinter out” he said. 

He pushed Jaskier’s hands away and took a strong grip on his foot. “It will string a little bit”. 

Jaskier lay down on the ground exhausted. He came this far hiding his injury so he could do this. Allergic reactions usually only take a day, max two. He could make that without telling Geralt. 

“Done” Geralt showed him a small brown splinter. “Are you going to take your wet clothes off now?” Geralt asked, nodding to his underclothes. “No,” Jaskier said. 

Geralt shook his head angry. “Fine, but get dressed”. 

Jaskier stood up and hopped back to his clothes and his foot still hurts. Geralt stood close to him if he expected Jaskier to run away again. 

When he was finished dressing Geralt picked him up and put him on Roach. His sore bottom didn’t like that. 

“I can walk,” he said, trying to get down. Geralt held him in place and sat behind him. “Don’t make everything so difficult”. He felt Geralt putting a blanket around him and he handed him the waterskin. 

“Drink”. Jaskier took the skin and drank. The water tasted strange, different. “Try to sleep Jaskier,” Geralt said, making a sigh and pushing Jaskier to lay again on his chest. Geralt took the waterskin out of his hand. 

“I’m not tired, did you just cast a somne” Jaskier asked. “I did”. Jaskier wanted to react but found himself falling to sleep.

Jaskier woke up and immediately needed to itch again. Slowly he moved his hand under the blanket and itched. The wet fabric wasn’t comfortable at all anymore. It was even hurting now. 

“How long was I asleep”. Geralt moved his arms. “Five hours, do you feel better”. Jaskier turned around to see Geralt. “You put sleeping medicine in the waterskin and cast somne”. 

Geralt nods. “You needed it, you were behaving like you were mad. How is your head”. Jaskier touched his head. It didn’t hurt at all. “Good,” he said. Geralt moved Roach off the path. “We are stopping for today”. 

Geralt put Jaskier on a bedroll and was making the camp ready. Jaskier tried to hide his whole body under the blanket so Geralt wouldn’t see him itching. Geralt kneed in front of him. 

“Let me check your foot”. He took Jaskier his boot off and removed the bandage. 

“It isn’t bleeding anymore” he sounded surprised. “You smell like fresh blood. I thought you opened your wound again” Geralt looked him up and down slowly. Suddenly the blanket was removed. 

“What are you doing?” Jaskier yelled and looked down at his hand, it was still in his pants. He quickly got it out embarrassed. He looked at his hand, his nails and fingertips were bloody. 

He swallowed. Geralt took his hand and looked at it. “It isn’t your hand”. Geralt was looking at his groin now.

Before Jaskier could stop him Geralt was untying his pants and pushing them down along with the still wet underclothes. 

Jaskier cried out in pain. “Rash,” Geralt said. “I’m sorry” Jaskier was crying now. “It itched and it hurt, I’m sorry”. Geralt shook his head. 

“It isn’t your fault. It’s mine. You have a head injury. I should never let you keep those wet underclothes on. Of course it itches, Jaskier looked at Geralt. 

Geralt wasn’t mad? He thought this was because of the wet underclothes. Geralt was even calling this his fault? “ I...I was embarrassed,” he said, not looking at Geralt. “No need for that, it’s okay” Geralt walked quickly over to his bag. He took the healing salve out and went back to Jaskier. 

“I forget how fragile humans are. Your skin irritated quickly. I will put healing salves on it”. Geralt even tried to smile at him and petted his knee. Geralt was trying to comfort him. It was too much, Jaskier lay down crying and looking at the clouds trying to calm himself down. 

Suddenly Geralt’s hand was on his groin! Jaskier bolled up right. “I can do that”. He tried to take the jar. “It’s okay Jaskier. You're hurt. It’s just an injury. I let you rub chamomile oil on my butt when I hurt it. We help each other. No need for embarrassment. Try to sleep some more”. 

He pushed Jaskier down. Jaskier closed his eyes. He was embarrassed, but also relieved. “All done, leave your pants off for now”. Geralt covered Jaskier with an extra blanket. “You will be fine”. 

Geralt tucked him in and took his handkerchief to wipe Jaskier’ his tears of his cheeks. “Ssh, it’s fine”. Geralt gave his shoulder a quick squeeze before focusing on their dinner like nothing happened. 

“Do you think it will heal fast?” Jaskier asked after some time. “Worried about the ladies?” Geralt asked, handing him a rabbit. “A bit”. Geralt sat down next to him. “It’s just rash, if you hadn’t scratched it so much it would be gone tomorrow I think. It won’t take long. Put healing salves on it at night and in the morning and you will be fine. More important is your head”. 

Jaskier put his rabbit down. “It doesn’t hurt”. Geralt nods “good, are you experiencing dizziness?” Jaskier shook his head. “A headache or problems with your vision or hearing?” Jaskier shook his head again. “Tell me if that changes, try to sleep” Geralt stood up and walked to Roach.


	3. The killer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somebody is following Jaskier and Geralt.

**Chapter 3 the killer**

When Jaskier opened his eyes it was morning. He remembered yesterday. He should never have hidden his allergic reaction. He focused on his body. He didn’t feel better he felt worse! His head hurt, his throat hurt and he couldn’t breathe through his nose. 

“You have a light fever, probably caught a cold from your bath yesterday” Jaskier looked up, Geralt was standing next to him. “The rash is almost gone, so count that as a plus”. Jaskier moved his hand to his groin. It didn't hurt but there was fresh salve on it. 

Great Geralt saw him naked again. “How is your head?” Oh yeah, his fake head injury, how could he forget that. “It’s fine”. Geralt pushed him to sit up straighter looking him in his eyes. 

“Are you dizzy”. Jaskier shook his head. “Good, get dressed”. 

If he just told Geralt in the inn this wouldn’t have happened. He wouldn’t have the splinter, he wouldn’t have a cold, he wouldn’t have Geralt rubbing salve on his groin and butt. He messed up big time. It was too late now to tell Geralt the truth. 

“Here” Geralt handed him a vial. “For your cold”. Jaskier opened the vial. It smelled bad. “You're sure?” he asked. “Drink it”. Jaskier did. It tasted even worse than it smelled. 

“You poisoned me” he yelled. Geralt didn’t even react. 

Suddenly he remembered, his heart started to beat faster. Geralt probably noticed that because he turned around. “You are leaving me in the next town, you're going to Kaer Morhen for the winter”. 

Geralt looked at him. Jaskier couldn’t read his face. “It depends,” he said slowly. “On what” Jaskier asked. 

“Well on you, if you're better. I can’t leave you sick or hurt”. Jaskier stood up. “Why not, I’m not your friend or any help”. 

Geralt turned around. “I let you travel with me so your are my responsibility. I have to take care of you now. You're clearly incapable of doing that yourself. I don’t like it, but it is the way it is”. 

Jaskier layed down again. Geralt didn’t like him, that was nothing new, but that Geralt saw him as his responsibility, his burden was. “I’m sorry, You must hate me”. Jaskier feld nausea. Geralt hated him. Instead of hunting monsters, he now had a bard that demanded his attention. 

“No I don’t. I just don’t understand you. I don’t really mind that you travel with me anymore. I just don’t know what you need most of the time. I don’t like that. Your young, human and easily hurt”. 

Jaskier let the words sink in. “ but you are taking care of me. Checking my head injury, giving me potions, you even rubbed salve on my lovely bottom. I think you're doing way more than you should”. 

Geralt looked unsure. “You think, I let you walk with a head injury, let you wander off in the woods, let you keep your wet underclothes on. All those things made you sicker”. 

Jaskier swallowed and looked at his blanket. “Believe me Geralt. It isn’t your fault. You are doing your best. You're the best friend I ever had. You take good care of me”. 

Geralt nodded. “I will do better, not make the same mistakes again. I will take you to Kaer Morhen”. 

Jaskier gasped at that. “What”. 

Geralt rolled up his bedroll. “If you don’t want to”. Jaskier shook his head. “Of course I want, but when I asked, you always said no”. 

Geralt moved to Roach. “I changed my mind”. 

Jaskier understood why Geralt changed his mind. He didn’t think Jaskier would survive the winter on his own. And other then most people thought Geralt was a good guy. A really good guy, so he couldn’t let that happen. 

Well Jaskier wasn’t going to ruinen Geralt’s winter. He would do anything he could to stay out of trouble and if he got in any, he would clean it up himself. He wasn’t going to be a burden anymore. He was a twenty year old adult. It was time to act like one!

Jaskier rode in front of Geralt again. This time Geralt told him he put sleeping medicine in Jaskier’s waterskin. Jaskier drank it anyway. He didn’t feel that good. He hoped that sleep would help. 

They would change directions to go to Kaer Morhen instead of the next town. It would take a week and a half to get in Kear Morhen. He would have to earn his keep there. Geralt told him about the chores that he always did in the winter. 

Jaskier could help repair the walls or hunt for food. He never hunted before but how hard could it be? His eyes closed while he tried to recall how a crossbow worked. 

Jaskier drifted in and out of sleep thinking about Geralt. There was a hand in front of his mouth. Jaskier wired his eyes and tried to push the hand away. 

“Ssh somebody is following us” Geralt whispered. “I’m going to hide you behind some trees and see who it is”. 

Geralt lifted him off Roach and dropped him behind a tree. “Stay here” he said pointing his finger to Jaskier. Like he had a choice. “Geralt be careful” he whispered. Geralt nodded as he put a blanket over Jaskier. 

“I will be back soon, if something goes wrong, run”. Jaskier nodded as he tried to make himself small, he couldn’t really see Geralt anymore. 

Maybe it was just a bandit or a traveler who lost his way. Yeah that would be good. The traveler followed Geralt to ask him the way to town. There would be no fighting, no one would get hurt. Nobody would find him. 

Geralt and he would be on their way soon, maybe with the lost traveler. Maybe it was a lady, a sexy nice lady… the sound of steel against steel broke his thoughts. “There you are Geralt of Rivia” somebody yelled. His heart skipped a beat. 

Okay no nice sexy lady. Someone who wanted to hurt them, kill them. He swallowed Geralt and could handle it. “fuck you” Geralt yelled. 

Okay the other fighter or fighters weren’t easy. “I will kill you” somebody yelled. Jaskier felt his heart in his throat. “Please don’t kill him,” he whispered. 

“I'm not going down that easy,” Geralt said angrily. Geralt was losing! There must be a lot of fighters then. Geralt could easily take out most attackers normally. It couldn’t end like this right. 

Geralt was going to die! He needed to do something. He didn’t have any weapons, not even his dragger; it was in Roach's bag. Oh poor Roach she had to watch Geralt being killed. 

“Where did you leave the little human? I know he is here”. Jaskier felt himself shaking. They were going to kill him too. He desperately looked around for a weapon finding nothing. Why hadn’t he taken sword fight lessons. Songs and poetry means nothing in a fight for survival. 

“Leave him out of it, he is hurt” Geralt yelled. There was a loud bang. Jaskier could hear Geralt scream. 

“You are dead. Show yourself human”. It went wrong! Geralt was dead! 

Jaskier throws the blanket off and jumps up. He saw Geralt on the ground. His sword next to him. He froze Geralt and was really dead. 

A big man was standing next to him with his sword in his hand. He had yellow eyes. It was a witcher. Geralt was killed by another witcher. He swallowed staring at his best friend's dead body. 

“There you are” he said the evil man sounded happy. 

“Run” Geralt told him. He had to run. 

Jaskier turned around and he ran, just like Geralt said. “Hé stop, it’s just me. Lambert” Geralt killer yelled. 

Jaskier didn’t stop, he tried to run faster. Footsteps were following him. “Stop dammit, it’s a joke!”. 

Jaskier didn’t stop, his best friend just died. 

“He isn’t dead” Jaskier didn’t fall for that trick. He jumped over a fallen tree. He heard the killer yell. He probably fell over the tree, good! 

Jaskier tried to increase his speed even more. He had to get away. 


	4. Running

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier tries to out run the ‘killer’

**Chapter 4 running**

He kept running. He didn’t know how long, probably for hours. After sometime his complete body hurt. He fell on the ground. 

What was he going to do now? He was alone in the woods, it was getting dark. Geralt was dead and there was a killer hunting him. He was hungry, thirsty and so tired. He had to go on. 

Maybe he would find a village or something. He had know idea where he was. He tried to calm his breathing. He kept thinking about Geralt’s dead body. His best friend was dead! Just like that! 

He didn’t even say goodbye or thank him for everything he had done. He couldn’t even give his friend a proper funeral. There were tears in his eyes. 

Maybe he should have brought the body to Kaer Morhen. So his brothers could grief him. Maybe there was a special ceremony. Maybe a witcher needed a special funeral, with a spell or something. Geralt wouldn't get that now. 

Oh no this was his fault. He slowed Geralt down. Geralt was so busy with taking care of him. All of this because of stupid sex. He was never going to have sex again! Or lie! He would never lie again! 

He hated himself. Suddenly he realized that he probably was going to die soon as well. He would starve, freeze or be killed by Geralt’s killer. The chances of getting out alive were small. 

The adrenaline left him. Everything was hurting, he was cold. He had to run. He promised Geralt he would run. 

After running for some time again he collapsed. His legs couldn’t longer carry him. He leaned against a tree. Making himself small. He hugged his knees and felt the tears on his cheeks. 

“Oh Geralt I’m so sorry” he cried. He let his friend down. He didn’t even help him. If he only had been stronger, if he had known how to wield a sword. 

He watched his friend die without doing one thing. He was a really bad friend. He hadn’t deserved Geralt. Slowly he felt his eyes close.

“Found him!” somebody yelled. 

Oh no. He tried to get up but the killer jumped in front of him. 

“Easy little human”. The big man had cat eyes just like Geralt. Geralt was murdered by his own kind he remembered. The killer bent down a little. Putting his hands in front of him like Jaskier was a scared animal. 

Jaskier tried to kick him. He wouldn’t go down without a fight. Tears were on his cheeks again. 

“I’m not going to hurt you,” the killer said. “Hurry up will you, the poor thing smells extremely scared and is crying his eyes out” the killer yelled in the air. 

“You killed him, you are a murderer,” Jaskier screamed. “I will fight you,” he tried. 

The killer tried to calm him. “Ssh, it’s okay, he isn’t dead”. The killer was trying to manipulate him. He needed Jaskier for something. 

“I saw him die” he yelled back. 

Suddenly Geralt was kneeling beside him. Jaskier screamed, this must be a ghost or a shapeshifter. 

“Get away from me!” He tried to kick the fake Geralt. 

“Jaskier calm down. Lambert and I were just playing around. I didn’t realize what it must have looked like to you. Lambert is my brother. I’m fine”. 

Jaskier looked from Geralt to Lambert. “I saw you on the ground. You, he, he killed you”. 

Geralt shook his head. “Lambert won the fight”. 

Jaskier wasn’t buying it. “But you hide me behind a tree. 

“Because I didn’t know it was Lambert it could have been someone bad”. Jaskier threw himself forwards in Geralt's arms. 

“I was running for my life!...I was grieving you!...I thought I let you down” he sobbed. 

Geralt was hugging him. “O no. You never let me down. You did exactly what I wanted you to do”. Geralt was rocking him. 

“Geralt is he broken? He is shaking so bad. Is that normal?” The killer or Lambert now asked. 

Jaskier let himself cry. “No Lambert he isn’t broken, he is just scared. He was already hurt”. Geralt was petting his head and back. 

“We should make camp. You must keep humans warm right” Lambert tried. “We should” 

Geralt nodded against Jaskier’s head which was tucked under Geralt’s chin. “Ssh, everything is okay now” Geralt whispered. 

Jaskier felt Geralt lift him. “You okay Geralt, do you need help?” Lambert moved closer. Geralt shiften him in his arm so Jaskier’s head was on his shoulder. 

“Nah, just take my swords. He isn’t heavy”. Jaskier buried his face in Geralt's neck. 

“You were dead” he hiccuped. “No I wasn’t” Geralt said. “Try to calm down Jaskier. Deep breaths”. Jaskier wasn’t planning on calming down soon. Just minutes ago he thought he lost his best friend and was going to be killed. He had the right to be upset. 

Geralt carried him through the woods. “Geralt he really sounds broken” Lambert said. 

“It is his lungs he already had a cold. He is making it worse” Geralt explained. 

“Do you want me to axii him?” Lambert asked. 

Jaskier shook his head. “Don’t curse me”. 

He heard Geralt sigh. Geralt moved Jaskier so he could look at him. Geralt looked worried. “Jaskier, you are hurting yourself, you have to calm down right now. Take deep breaths or I’m going to let Lambert axii you. It’s for your own good”. 

Jaskier shook his head. “That isn’t fair,” he cried. Geralt looked desperate. He took Jaskier’s head in his hand forcing him to look him in his eyes. “Take deep breaths”. 

Jaskier threw his head back. “No,” he yelled. “You are not trying to calm down. So you choose the axii” Geralt asked. 

“No” he screamed again. “Then start taking deep breaths”. Jaskier knew that Geralt wasn’t bluffing. “Okay, I’m going to try,” he hiccuped. He took a deep breath. It didn’t work so he tried again and again until he felt his breathing slow down.

“Good, just like that,” Geralt said, pulling him close again. 

It took almost half an hour before they reached Roach again. Lambert took Roach and another, probably his own horse, to a good camping space in the woods. He quickly lay down a bedroll and got a blanket. 

Geralt put Jaskier down and tucked him in. He sat down beside him putting his head on his lap petting Jaskier his hair. “Jaskier, it really was playing around. I never thought. I’m sorry. I messed up again”. 

Jaskier bite his lip. “You didn’t mean to”. 

Geralt shook his head. “So then there is nothing to be sorry for”. He tried to smile. 

“Are you hurt?” Geralt asked. “I can smell blood”. Jaskier looked up. “I don’t know. I was going on adrenaline and to be honest my whole body hurts right now”. Geralt nodded. 

“Do you, I mean can I check. Find out where the bleeding is coming from”. Jaskier didn’t have the energy to do more than just lay there so he nodded. 

Gerelt lowered the blanket and lifted Jaskier’ his tunic. He poked around on his ribs and belly. 

“Does anything hurt?” Jaskier shook his head. Geralt turned him a little and did the same at his back. Then he looked at Jaskier's arms. 

“Lambert, can you bring some oil for cuts and bandages”. That didn’t sound good. 

“What’s wrong?” Jaskier asked. “There are multiple cuts here on your arm. You probably hurt them on a tree or bush. Nothing too serious but we can’t let it go untreated. They may get infected”. 

Lambert handled Geralt the stuff he asked for. He kneed on the other side of Jaskier. 

“Let me introduce myself I’m Lambert. Geralt’s brother is a witcher of the school of wolves. I’m on my way to Kaer Morhen”. 

Jaskier was glad for the distraction, cleaning up those cut’s hurt a lot. 

“I’m Jaskier, Geralt his bard. He takes care of me”. Did he just say that? Why did he say that? He swallowed and tried to look at Geralt. 

Lambert softly turned his head back. “He does, doesn’t he. You must be really important for him. He was so scared when he couldn’t find you in the woods. He yelled at me. Like I could help it that I fell over that tree”. 

Jaskier looked at him. “Really”. 

Lambert nodded. “Yeah really”. Geralt moved to his other arm. “How many brothers has Geralt?” Jaskier asked.

“Just me and Eskel. He is probably on his way back to Kaer Morhen as well”. Jaskier tried to picture Geralt with his brothers. “Does he take care of you and Eskel too?”

Lambert laughed. “He does, but he isn’t so careful with us as he is with you”. 

Jaskier smiled. “I’m his responsibility, because he led me to travel with him. I’m his burden”. 

He was waiting for Lambert’s reaction but Geralt beat him to it. 

“You are my responsibility. But you're not a burden. Anything but that. Try to sleep”. The blanket was tucked around him again. 

“Sweet dreams,” Lambert said before moving away. Jaskier felt Geralt watching him while he closed his eyes. 


	5. Swords

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier wants to learn how to wheel a sword

**Chapter 5 Swords**

Jaskier woke the next morning and he felt better. Nothing was really hurting anymore and he felt rested. He listened to the two witchers who were talking quietly. 

“So Jaskier, what is he to you?” Lambert asked. Geralt didn’t answer. 

“I mean, I never saw you care for a human that much before. How long do you know him?” Lambert was not giving up on the subject. Good, Jaskier wanted to learn more about Geralt’s reasons as well. 

“I have known him for a year now. I met him last spring”. That was true just before the elven contract.

“Are you in love?” Jaskier held his breath, he never thought about Geralt like that. Would Geralt… 

“No,” Geralt said before Jaskier could finish his thoughts. 

“It wouldn’t be a problem, I slept with men,” Lambert said.

“No Lambert, I never looked at Jaskier like that. I mean he is basically a big child. I can’t even see him as a man like you and I are yet”. 

Well that was an insult. 

“Okay, well how old is he” Lambert was not letting go of the subject. “He just turned twenty”. 

Lambert laughed. “And you are eighty or something. You could be his grandfather or even his great grandfather”. 

Jaskier swallowed. He forgot most of the time how old Geralt was. 

“So it’s fatherly feelings than”. 

Jaskier found it difficult to keep laying still now. He really wanted to see Geralt’s face. “Hmmm” was Geralt’s only reaction. What? He wasn’t telling Lambert that he was wrong? It was ridiculous! 

“Well it isn’t that strange. Other than everyone thinks we do have emotions and it’s difficult sometimes to accept that we never get married or have children”. Geralt didn’t react again.

“A few years back I took a young bandit under my wing. Traveled with him for two years. Learned him right from wrong. He is married now and has five children. The oldest son is called Lambert”. 

Jaskier bite his lip. He felt bad for the two witchers. They deserved so much more. They deserved happiness. 

“Thomas?” Geralt asked. 

“Yeah Thomas, you remember him”. Geralt probably nodded or something.

“How do you know?” Geralt asked.

“Know what?” Lambert asked back. 

“The difference between fatherly feelings and normal friendship”. It was quiet for sometime. Well at least Geralt had some kind of feelings for him. 

“With Thomas I had the feeling I was responsible for learning him how to be a good man. How to survive, I got mad if he did something stupid. Got him out of trouble a lot. It was friendship,I think. It felt like friendship. I don’t know”. 

Jaskier heard Geralt stand up. The conversation was over. 

Jaskier counted until five hundred before letting the witchers know he was awake. It sounded like the witchers were sharpening their swords. 

“He is waking up,” Lambert said. 

Jaskier sat up and saw that Geralt and Lambert were looking at him. They were indeed sharpening their swords. “Good Morning” he said happily. 

“Sleep well?” Lambert asked. 

“I did, how many days until we are at Kaer Morhen?”

Geralt put his sword down. “I think five before reaching the last village and then two or three days depending on the weather”. 

Jaskier started to stand up. “You sure about that?” Geralt asked, Jaskier looked strange at Geralt. 

“What?” Geralt looked amused. “You aren’t wearing any pants, to let your rash heal. You know... the healing salve”. 

Jaskier feld his face flush. “I thought it was better”. He looked embarrassed at his blanket. “It is, you don’t need the salve any more”. 

Jaskier dared to look at Lambert who was trying his best not to laugh. 

“Geralt, did you rub the salve in with Lambert… “ he couldn't finish the embarrassing question. 

“I wouldn’t be protecting your modesty now if I did. I made him turn around”. Jaskier took a deep breath and he heard Lambert laughing out loud now. 

“Stop it Lambert,” Geralt said. Jaskier luckily found his pants close and put them on under the blanket. 

“Maybe you can teach me how to sword fight at Kaer Morhen,” he started. 

“What?” He had Geralt’s full attention now.

“So next time somebody is trying to kill you I can help you”. He never wanted to watch helplessly again when his friend was almost getting killed.

“You want to learn how to fight with a sword?” Geralt asked again. 

“Yeah”. Geralt shook his head. “No”. 

Lambert was standing up as well. 

“Why not? Geralt the boy should be able to protect himself”. 

Jaskier nodded. “Yeah why not”. 

Geralt looked angry. “You're not… you would hurt yourself”. Jaskier was getting angry.

“I would not”. To demonstrate it he walked over to Geralt’s sword and picked the silver one up. It was a lot heavier than he thought it would be. 

“Jaskier put it down”. Geralt yelled and was running to him. He could do this. Jaskier moved the sword in his hand.

“I can do this, you see Geralt”. Geralt was standing in front of him now inches away from the sword. Lambert was standing next to him. They both looked a bit worried. 

“Jaskier put it down now or I…” Geralt started. 

Jaskier lifted the sword in the air. “I think I’m a natural”. He stepped forwards. The weight of the sword shifted and he felt himself losing his balance. The sword was falling out of his hand. 

Geralt was moving him. Gripping his hand still around the sword squeezing it so hard that he couldn’t let go of the sword. Lambert was moving as well. The sword was roughly taken out of his hand.

Geralt took hold of Jaskier his doublet and lifted him so high that he had to stand on his toes. His face was inches away from that of a very angry Geralt. 

“Never do that again” he was shaking Jaskier. 

“I’m sorry, but if you would teach me…”. He stopped his sentence and Geralt was getting angrier. 

“You're lucky you didn’t kill yourselves or us. If you ever touch my swords again I show you how sharp they are. On your skin” Geralt was yelling at him now.

“Yeah fine”. Jaskier tried to get out of Geralt’s grip. 

“Promise,” Geralt said. Jaskier nodded quickly. 

“I promise”. Geralt let go of him so rough that Jaskier fell on the ground. 

Jaskier walked over to Lambert “why is he so angry?”

Lambert looked at him. “You didn’t realize it probably. But the sword was inches away from cutting you. I think he went easy on you”. 

Jaskier stamped on the floor. “Easy, that was not easy”. 

Lambert didn’t look impressed. “It was”. 

Jaskier walked away. He was so angry. He walked in the woods and sat down behind a brush. Close enough to still hear Lambert and Geralt moving around. 

After some time Geralt found him and sat next to him. 

“You blame yourself for yesterday because you weren’t able to fight”. Jaskier nodded. 

“I though you died and I didn’t do a thing to stop it”. Jaskier didn’t dare to look at Geralt. 

“I understand. But it’s never your fault. If I get killed by someone, you run, hide. You don’t fight them. It will get you killed”. 

Jaskier bite his lip again. 

“I will teach you how to fight. Not with a sword yet. But you should be able to defend yourself”. Jaskier looked at Geralt.

“Really”. Geralt nodded and stood up. “Were leaving in five minutes”. 


	6. Mermaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier doesn’t listen to Geralt and gets hurt again.

**Chapter 6 the mermaid**

After four days of traveling they arrived at a small lake. Geralt dismounted Roach and Lambert followed his example.

“Let stop. We are just a few hours from the last village. If we leave early tomorrow and don’t spend too long on the market in the village. We will be on our way up to mountains tomorrow this time” Lambert said while petting his horse.

“Can we bathe?” Jaskier asked.

Geralt turned around to look at him. “The water is freezing”.

Jaskier sighed. “I didn’t say swimming, just cleaning up”.

Geralt shook his head. “No you don’t come near to the water”.

Jaskier bite his lip. He wouldn’t be able to convince Geralt. So he took his loss, for now.

“I will go hunt,” Lambert said. Geralt nods. There was a possibility.

“You should help him Geralt, I will make a fire and take care of the horses”. To make Geralt believe him he started to look around for wood.

“Let’s make this a game Geralt, the first to catch two rabbits, doesn’t have to clean them”. Geralt gave his brother a small smile and the witchers disappeared in the woods.

Jaskier waited a few minutes before getting a small towel and so. He walked over to the lake and wetted his towel. He hadn’t bathed in days and he didn’t smell that good. What could happen when you just cleaned up?

It wasn’t like he was going in the water. He wetted his face and took his doublet and shirt off. It was cold but he would be quick.

“Hello there handsome” Jaskier looked up. A beautiful woman was swimming to him. “She wasn’t wearing anything, he felt himself blush.

“Would you like to swim with me?” she asked. Jaskier looked at her, she wasn’t a monster, he didn’t see any claws, horns or sharp teeths. It was just a woman.

“The water is too cold right?” he asked.

She sighed. “Not at all there is a geyser in this lake” she explained.

Jaskier dropped his towel and put his hand in the water. “It doesn’t feel warm,” he said slowly.

“I promise you, you won’t be cold” she gave him a big smile. She slowly came closer and took his hands.

“Wait my boots,”he said, kicking them off. Somewhere he knew the water was still freezing but the woman looked fine.

He leaned to her and she put her hand on his neck pushing him closer. She kissed him. This was the best kiss he ever had! She started pulling him in the water. He went willingly not wanting to break the kiss.

His chest hit the water, his arms went to her arms, she felt cold. His brain was telling him that there was something wrong about this.

“Jaskier!” someone called his name. He went to turn around but the woman didn’t let him and she pulled him in the lake.

“Wait” he tried.

They were moving and his head disappeared under the water. He couldn’t breath. He tried to swim but the woman didn’t let him. It was a monster!

Someone was pulling his legs but the girl didn’t let go. They were going to tear into pieces. He tried to scream but swallowed a lot of cold water instead. He was drowning.

Suddenly the water turned red. Was he dead?

He tried to breath. He felt the energy leaving his body.

“Jaskier'' somebody was hitting on his back hard. “Spill it out”. Spill what out? when he tried to ask he found himself vomiting and coughing.

He opened his eyes, he wasn’t vomiting his dinner, he was vomiting water.

“That it”. Someone was holding him.

”spill it all out”. He didn't think he could stop.

“Breath” oh yeah he had to breathe, he tried, it hurt. It took some time before he breathed normally again.

“Let’s get you to the camp” he looked at the person who was picking him up. It was Lambert.

“Geralt '' he asked weakly.

“He is still hunting for rabbits. You're lucky I’m a good hunter”.

He was put on a bedroll. “Geralt'' he tried again.

“Ssh, I already yelled for him”. Lambert stripped him from his wet clothes and put a blanket on him.

“I don’t think your hypothermia yet but you are too cold”. There was another blanket. Lambert tucked them around him.

“Geralt'' he tried again. He couldn’t think, he wanted Geralt. He didn’t understand what happened. Lambert was drying his hair.

“Take it easy, Geralt you better come over here” Lambert yelled. He heard footsteps.

Geralt's hand was on his cheek, turning his head to him. Jaskier looked at the yellow eyes and felt tears on his cheeks.

“What the hell happened?” Geralt demanded.

“Mermaid. It was already drowning him when I arrived. I killed it and safed your bard”.

Jaskier saw Geralt's face turn angry. “I told you to stay away from the lake”.

Jaskier swallowed. “I wanted to bathe,” he said weakly.

“You didn’t listen” Geralt was going to say more but Lambert stopped him.

“Geralt your little human almost drowned, he is crying and he asked for you like a honderd times so comfort him. You can yell at him later”.

Jaskier saw that Geralt was considering what Lambert said. “Was he hurt''.

Lambert took his arm from under the blanket. “Bruises from where it gripped him”.

Geralt took his arm, looked at it and put it back under the blanket. Then he moved to sit behind Jaskier and lifted him up so he was leaning against him. Lambert hurried to tuck the blankets back in place.

Geralt put his arms around Jaskier. “Your save now. You can stop crying”. Jaskier did feel safe and his tears stopped.


	7. The last village

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last village isn’t a town Jaskier ever wanted to visit again.

**Chapter 7 the last village**

The next day started with a big lecture. Geralt really took his time. Jaskier just listened and said yes and no at the right moments. Lambert busied himself with readying the horses in the meantime.

“You understand Jaskier?” Geralt asked for the ten time. Jaskier heard himself agree but he didn’t really know what he had to understand now. He was tired and still a bit cold.

“Good, get on Roach”. Jaskier looked at him.

“So you're done?”. Geralt only nodded. Jaskier went to Roach.

“I have never heard him talk so much,” Lambert said, mounting his own horse. “But you are his only friend in this world so I guess that explains it”.

Jaskier climbs on Roach. “I'm surely not his only friend. He has Yennefer and other people”.

Lambert laughed. “Yennefer his friend?, I think they sooner we kill each other”.

Jaskier felt a little pride that he apparently was Geralt's only friend, that was also a bit sad his friend deserved so much more. Geralt took Roach reins and started to lead her.

“So what do we need from the market?” Jaskier asked.

“Stuff,” Geralt said. Apparently he used too many words in the lecture and now went back to one word sentences.

“Herbs, food, medicine, maybe some clothes,” Lambert started.

Just before the afternoon they arrived at the village. Jaskier had been so busy telling Lambert about his time in Letterhove that he forgot to look around. When he did he swallowed.

The white tower, the tavern with the painted rabbit. The inn has blue curtains and of course the big greenhouse. The mayor’s house. This was the last village!

He knew this place, he could never forget it, he almost died here. He wasn’t sure if the village had forgotten him. This was a bad idea.

“I can wait in the woods with the horses,” he tried. Geralt looked at him.

“No, there aren’t any monsters here. You don’t have to be scared”. Oh great Geralt thought the mermaid left him traumatized. Well he would rather fight another mermaid then the mayor. We could play alone with Geralt’s theory.

“Well you didn’t expect a monster in the lake”. Lambert turned around.

“There are always monsters in lakes, that's why Geralt told you to stay away. This is a nice village. You would like it”. Okay so he wasn’t going to stay in the woods.

Time for plan B. “Geralt I’m so cold can I borrow your coat, the big one with the hood” he practically begged.

“You're feeling okay” Geralt waked over him and touched his forehead.

“Maybe he hit his head again with the mermaid” Lambert tried. Jaskier was pulled forwards and Geralt started to pat his head.

“I’m not sick or hurt just cold”. Geralt didn’t let him go until he touched every bit of skin Jaskier had on his head.

“His head is fine. You don’t feel cold”. Jaskier mounted Roach.

“I will get it myself”. Geralt sighed and handed him the coat. Jaskier put the hood on. “Do you see my face” he asked looking at the ground.

“No, why, what’s wrong? '' Geralt asked, irritated by Jaskier's behavior.

“We will shop together right?” he tried. He didn’t think anyone would dare to harm him with two witchers next to him.

“No Jaskier, just like always. Everybody goes their own way and we meet by the horses in two hours. Go get soap, a doublet and things like that” he said walking away with Roach.

“You will be fine, if I think there is a monster I will find you and protect you” Lambert said with a big smile.

Okay, Jaskier was going to throw his dignity overboard and run to Geralt. He stepped on his big cloak and fell face down on the ground.

“Dammit Jaskier'' Geralt made him stand up. “What’s wrong”.

Jaskier looked right in Geralt's eyes. “Maybe I’m a tiny bit scared”.

Geralt sighed. “Nothing is going to happen. Did the mermaid threaten you or something. You never reacted like this before“. Geralt gave him an opening.

“Yes, it said it would hunt me and kill me”. Geralt looked to Lambert.

“It’s dead Jaskier it can’t hurt you”. Lambert put a hand on his shoulder.

“A mermaid can’t live on the land, so even if it wasn’t dead. What it is, It couldn’t have followed you”.

Okay there were no more excuses. “Fine” he said, hiding in his hood.

“Here in two hours” Geralt told him.

Jaskier nodded and walked to the market. Great he embarrassed himsel and it gained him nothing.

“Wait” he heard Geralt yell. So Geralt wasn’t going to make him go to the market alone. He turned around and smiled. Geralt walked over to him and handed him a coin bag.

“I realized you don’t have much coin,” he said, turned around and walked to the market.

Geralt just ruined plan c, waiting by the horses with the excuse not to have any money. Now he had to go buy something. Slowly he walked over the market looking for a stall with oils and soap.

His heart was bonking in his throat. It was just one winter ago. Geralt and he had parted ways here. He sang in the traven. Just like always. When he left the tavern to go to the inn a man had putten a knife to his throat.

He expected some skills from the witcher bard. They made him break into the house of the mayor and steal his money. Of course he got caught. He had run but the man with the knife caught up, demanding the money and he stepped him in his leg making it hard to run. But he did, he ran and hid in the attic of the stables. He heard that the mayor was going to hang him.

So he stayed in the stables for days, eating horse food. After four nights it was raining hard, his leg had healed a bit so he had dared to run.

He found the soap and oils stall and brought anything he needed quickly. The man behind the stall kept trying to look in his hood. Jaskier hurried away. He couldn’t do this.

He walked back to the horses as fast as his legs would take him. He petted Roach feeling saver in her present.

“The witcher doesn’t want anybody to touch his horse'’”. Jaskier recognized the voice of the mayor!


	8. In trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier is in jail

**Chapter 8 In trouble**

The mayor was here!, stay calm Jaskier, he doesn’t remember me. “Oh” he just said, stepping away from the horse.

“Are you a traveler?” somebody else said.

“Yeah,” he said, trying to disappear in his cloak.

“Where are you from” asked the mayor.

“Letterhove” his voice sounded to high. Where was Geralt or Lambert.

“Letterhove, what brings you here”. What brings him here? Uhm What brings him here?

Think Jaskier! “Family” he said. Stupid! because he already knew the next question.

“Witch family are you from”. He couldn’t think anymore, they were walking closer to him.

“Aunt Anny,” he said.

“There doesn’t live an Anny here” the mayor said.

“Well, then this is the wrong village I better be going then”. He started to walk away.

A hand on his shoulder stopped him. They turned him around,

“who are you”. Jaskier tried to step back, he had to get away. The mayor tried to touch his hood. He pushed the hand away. Too late the other man pushed it off.

“Isn’t that?” He looked right in the face of the mayor who looked angry. “The stealing bard”.

Jaskier shook his head, “I have know idea where you're talking about,” he tried. Out of nowhere another man appeared.

“Throw him in the jail. We can hang him tomorrow” the mayor ordered.

Jaskier shook his head. “No, I didn’t do a thing”. His hands were being tried behind his back, and the men patted his body looking for weapons.

“Geralt” he yelled.

“Geralt!” He wanted to yell again but someone put something in his mouth.

“Tomorrow you can get everybody’s attention. Stop make a scene the mayor said.

The men manhandled him to a small cell. He was thrown in and the door was locked behind him.

It was difficult to breath with a cloth in your mouth. Geralt and Lambert would look for him. They wouldn’t leave without him.

A guard appeared in front off the cell. “Enjoy your last day, tomorrow your are dead. It will be a painful death. Everyone will look at you. They will celebrate your death. You will be struggling to breathe and wait for your neck to break while they cheer. It's difficult to breathe now already isn’t it. You can practice for tomorrow”.

Jaskier knew he was having a panic attack. He needed to calm down or he would pass out or die right here.

The guard laughed and walked away.

Jaskier tried to focus on his breathing.

He almost got it to slow down when the guard reappeared with a loose! The loose was hung in front of his cell. “Enjoy the view, it's your death” the guard said.

Jaskier felt tears on his cheeks, he didn’t even try to calm his breathing now. He wished to pass out. Luckily he didn’t had to wait long.

There was yelling. Slowly Jaskier opened his eyes.

A man hurried to the guard. “Get away, they are coming”.

The guard laughed. “Who, his daddy?”

The man shook his head. “No two witchers. They are angry”.

The guard’s face lost his color. Jaskier finds himself smiling at the side.

“They are coming for him?,” the guard asked slowly.

“Yeah it is there bard or something”. The man hurried out.

The guard looked at the door from the prison. “I am not scared,” he said.

Jaskier looked how he put a knife in his belt and picked up a sword.

“You're not getting out of here alive” the guard told him. “Maybe I should…” he stopped his sentences and opened the cell door taking out his knife.

“I will kill you now, you're a thief”. He went to his knees next to Jaskier.

Jaskier tried to get away, he tried to kick the guard. “Any last words, oh you can’t” he laughed and pushed the gag further in his mouth. He lifted the sword. Suddenly the door flew open.

The guard was ripped away. Geralt's face was in front of him. He took the cloth out of his mouth.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Jaskier nodded sad, not finding any words. Geralt helped him stand up and cut the robes that tied his hands, Jaskier looked at the guard Lambert was standing over him.

The guard was dead. Jaskier brought a hand to his mouth feeling nauseous.

Geralt pushed him out of the cell. Outside it didn’t look much better. The mayor was dead as were two men.

“Let’s go” Lambert hurried to get the horses.

Jaskier starred at the body of the mayor.

He is dead” Geralt said, lifting him on Roach sitting behind him. Jaskier was still looking at the mayor. His expensive clothes are full of blood. His empty eyes. Geralt pushed his head away.

“Don’t look” Roach started running. Not looking at the dead men didn’t mean Jaskier wasn’t seeing him in his mind.

They rode for two hours before Lambert called for a break. He jumped off his horse and help Jaskier down. He walked him over to a three. Jaskier sat down. His heart was still beating too hard.

“I don’t think they would follow us. The mayor wasn’t exactly popular” Lambert said. Geralt kneed in front of Jaskier.

“You should have told us. Now there are four men dead and we can’t visit this village ever again” he yelled at him.

Jaskier brought his knees to his chest. “Dammit Jaskier, it’s over. Calm down” Geralt was really angry.

Geralt grabbed his face making him look at him. “You're alive, they are dead, stop panicking” Geralt shook his head.

“Give me my waterskin Lambert”.

Lambert moved closer. “Why” he handed Geralt the waterskin.

Geralt opened it and threw the water in Jaskier's face. Jaskier yelled out.

“Geralt you idiot” Lambert pushed him away.

“He isn’t in his right mind. He is scared you smell it”. Geralt leaned back. “I’m trying to make him snap out of it”.

Lambert kneed next to him. “Yeah but this isn’t the way”.

Lambert and Geralt were studying him intensely. “His heart Lambert, he is giving himself a heart attack”.

Lambert nodded. Jaskier wanted to tell them he was fine, but his mouth didn’t work, it sounded like a small peep.

“Give him sleeping medicine,” Lambert decided. “That worked before with his head injury right?”

Geralt was already moving. He came back en pushed the waterskin in his mouth. “Drink” he ordered.

Jaskier felt his mouth full of liquids. He couldn’t breath, there was water in his mouth! he was drowning again! Hands were touching him, somebody yelled at him. There was darkness. Was he dying?


	9. Holding your breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier tries to stay longer underwater

**Chapter 9 Holding your breath**

Jaskier woke up still feeling tired, what happened? A shadow fell over him. He was going to kill him! It was the guard! He opened his mouth and screamed.

“Jaskier easy” Geralt leaned over him, Geralt!.

“You're not the guard,” Jaskier simply said.

“I’m not” Geralt confirmed.

“Where are we? '' Jaskier looked around seeing nothing but trees.

“A day from Kaer Morhen. You slept for more than a day. Almost dying again did a number on you”.

A day? He slept for a day? “You sure? how did I travel?”

Geralt smiled. “You rode with Lambert and I. We found it easier to travel when you are a sleep. You don’t get in so much trouble then”.

Jaskier sat up. “That’s mean”.

Geralt shook his head. “Just looking at last week: you got a head injury, you went swimming in a cold creek, you run around on bare feet and hurt yourself, you insist on wearing wet clothes giving yourself rash, you run off in the woods, you got almost killed by a mermaid, you got arrested, thrown in to jail, almost killed by a guard. Just one week, Jaskier”.

Jaskier bit his lip hard. “A few things are your mistakes'' he tried.

Geralt nodded. “I know but that doesn’t mean they didn’t happen”.

Jaskier had to agree with that.

“How do you feel? '' Geralt asked. Jaskier stood up. How did he feel? He wasn’t in pain, he wasn’t tired anymore, he did feel good.

“I feel better, good even” he told Geralt.

“We are leaving in ten minutes, make sure you're ready” Geralt told him.

It was already dark when they finally arrived at Kaer Morhen. It was snowing and Jaskier was cold.

“I thought we would never make it, that you just made this place up” he said sitting down at a rock at the entrance.

“Geralt, Lambert” somebody yelled. Jaskier turned to the voice, another witcher. It was to be expected in a witcher fort.

“Eskel” Geralt sounded happy. He and Lambert hugged Eskel.

“You brought a human,” Eskel looked at him.

“Eskel this is Jaskier, Jaskier, Eskel our brother”. Jaskier stood up and shook Eskel his hand.

“You are the bard right” he asked. Jaskier nodded.

“Eskel, can you show Jaskier the baths and a guest room I need to take care of Roach.

“Sure follow me”.

Jaskier didn’t really want to follow a strange witcher but a warm bath sounded really nice. The fort was big, really big. Jaskier followed Eskel close. They took many turns and stairs.

“Not all parts of the fort are safe. Some stairs are unstable, there are rooms with broken windows. The part where we live is fine”

Eskel kept talking about the fort like Jaskier could remember all that, specially when Eskel just pointed at random doors and said ‘don’t go there’ or ‘watch out for the fived stap on those stairs behind that door’ like Jaskier was going to remember witch door or even witch part of the castle he was.

When they arrived at a room with a bath Jaskier sighed.

“You will remember what I told you right?” Eskel asked, filling the bath.

“Of course” Jaskier said.

“Good, Kaer Morhen can be dangers. How warm do you like your bath”.

Jaskier took Geralt his cloak off. He had been wearing it since the village. How do you describe a temperature?

“Warm, but not as warm as Geralt” he tried.

Eskel cast a ingy and felt the water. “Get in, I will ask Geralt for clean clothes for you. Be right back”.

Eskel left the room and Jaskier slowly undressed. He looked down on his body and found some bruises and cuts but nothing serious. He stepped in the bath and welcomed the warmth.

He leaned against the tube and put his head on the edge. He felt his body relax and thought about last week. It had been a terrible week. He had almost died three times. The last time he wanted to bath he even almost died. Because of the mermaid.

He still couldn’t understand who a beautiful woman could be such an evil creature. Had he been long under water? He couldn’t really remember. He knew a boy in Letterhove who trained to stay underwater for five minutes. Maybe he should train that. A few seconds could make a difference between drowning and living.

He looked at the water. He could try it. He could count how many seconds he could stay underwater and practice every time he bath. Geralt probably had training like this, maybe even in this bath. He is in a witcher fortress.

Slowly he took a few deep breaths and let his head sink underwater and closed his eyes. One, two, tree… he felt his heart beating. Four, five, six, seven. He already felt out of breath.

That wasn’t possible. Eight, nine, ten. He moved his head up and took a deep breath. This was ridiculous. He could do much better. He had to practice again.

He took a minute and took a few deep breaths again. He let his head slip under the water again this time he kept his eyes open.

One, two, three… he was counting too fast. Calm down he told himself. Four, five, six… he felt his heart beating fast again. He could do this. Seven, eight, nine, ten… a shadow fell over him, the mermaid!

He opened his mouth and screamed. He swallowed water. Something gripped his shoulders and pulled him up. He spilled out the water.

“What the hell are you doing” it was Eskel’s voice. He sounded really angry. Jaskier felt himself being turned around so he had to look at the witcher's face.

“Did you fall asleep? did you get dizzy?” Jaskier could only look at him.

He remembered that lying about his allergic reaction and his history with the village only got him in more trouble.

“It was that I heard you fast heartbeat. If I hadn’t run”. Eskel now took hold of his face. “Tell me now what happened”.

Jaskier found that he couldn’t. If he told Eskel that he only could hold his breath ten seconds they would laugh at him or they would call him ridiculous. He felt a bit ridiculous.

“Don’t you remember, did you pass out” Eskel's voice sounded a bit softer now.

“No, I wasn’t. I didn’t pass out”. Eskel fronsed eyebrows. He slowly let go of Jaskier walking to the door. His eyes never left Jaskier if he expected him to disappear under the water again.

He opened the door. “Geralt” he yelled. “Geralt come here”,

Jaskier swallowed. “Maybe he can explain what happened”. Eskel went to stand next to him again. Close enough to grab him if necessary.

Jaskier drew his legs to his chest. He suddenly felt very naked, small and a bit stupid. It didn’t take long before Geralt and Lambert, his luck walked in.

Jaskier kept looking at the water. Already knowing that Geralt was looking worried from Eskel to him.

“When I went back with his clothes. I heard his heartbeat going way to fast. I run in and found him underwater. Sort of drowning. He doesn’t want to tell me what happened. Only that he didn’t pass out”.

Jaskier closed his eyes and could it get any embarrassing. Three witches standing around your bath looking worried.

“Maybe he did fall asleep” Lambert tried. “Did you bard?” he tried.

Jaskier would do anything to get out of this situation so he nodded.

“He is lying” Geralt said. “His heartbeat wouldn’t be fast if he fell asleep and he would have just told you. It happened before. He was never embarrassed about it”.

Great Geralt, thank you, Jaskier though.

“Be honest” Geralt grabbed his face now just like Eskel did before. “Look at me and tell me what happened”.

What were his options? “I was doing a exercise” Geralt eyes wired now.

“What” Jaskier felt cold the warm bathwater suddenly didn’t feel warm anymore.

“I was trying to stay underwater longer. Train” he said trying to look anywhere except Geralt.

Nobody said anything for a long time Jaskier wanted to disappear. “I’m sorry” he said not knowing what else to say.

“Why?” Geralt ask stil not letting go of his face.

“So I can hold out longer next time a monster tries to drown me” he slowly said.

Geralt face changed. He didn’t look angry anymore but sad. He sighed loudly. “This kind of training will not help you with that,” he said.

“It would, if I can hold my breath longer It gives you more time to find me and save me” he was tambeling now.

“Oh Jaskier” Geralt shook his head. “It really scared you, didn’t it”. Jaskier could only nod.

“There won’t be a next time. I will keep a closer eye on you”.

Jaskier bite his lip. “But”.

Geralt just shook his head. “Eskel give me a big towel. He needs to sleep”.

Oh yeah, how could he forget. He was still very naked. Geralt didn’t seen to care he just lifted him out the tube wrapped a big towel around him and putted his hands on his shoulders. “Let’s go”.


	10. Ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier explores Kear Morhen

**Chapter 10 Ghosts**

Jaskier woke up in a warm bed and finally alone. Geralt had brought him to bed yesterday and tried to talk to him. It didn’t really work. Then he left to finish something. He made Eskel babysit him again, Jaskier told him three times that it wasn’t necessary but Geralt wanted him to feel safe.

Apparently Geralt's way of letting him feel safe was putting a witcher in the corner of his room. Jaskier found it creepy. He didn’t need a babysitter, he wasn’t traumatized or in shock or scared or whatever Geralt told him, it was okay and normal to be.

Well it wasn’t easy to sleep with a stranger in your room. It took some time. Apparently Eskel saw this as a sign that he was scared and had moved closer.

Eventually he had fallen asleep and apparently Eskel had disappeared. Well one thing was absolutely clear. He had to show the witchers that he wasn’t some fragile, little thing. That he didn’t need a babysitter or kid's cloves. He would show them that he was a twenty year old man that was very capable of holding his own.

He didn’t need protection. He got out of bed and found that somebody put all his stuff away. Lute and songbooks on a desk. His clothes and a thick cloak on a chair and his boots next to the door. Well Geralt wouldn’t have to do this again. He could take care of his own stuff.

He got dressed and put his boots on. There was a knock on his door. “Yes'' he said. The door opened.

Lambert walked in. ”Geralt asked me to show you the kitchen for breakfast after that you can help Vasemir”.

Vesemir the old teacher. Geralt talked about him sometimes. But it wasn’t very adultlike to let somebody escort you to breakfast and then be handed over to the next witcher on babysitting duty.

Oh! the witchers must hate it as much as he does. The winter is the time for the witchers to relax, not the time that they have to watch Geralt's fragile bard.

“I’m not hungry yet. I'm going to take a walk and eat breakfast later. I know the way to the kitchen”. How hard could it be to find a kitchen?

“Okay we can walk first I guess” Lambert said.

“Alone, I need to clear my head”. He tried to walk past Lambert.

“But there are dangerous edges and..,” Lambert tried.

“I can manage. Eskel showed everything”. He walked past Lambert, who didn’t look happy.

“Jaskier” he called, Jaskier turned around angry.

“Yes”. Lambert holds out the cloak. “It's still freezing”.

Jaskier walked back and took the cloak. “Bye Lambert” maybe he was a bit mean, but it was important to show he didn’t need their help.

It took some time before he found a door that wasn’t locked and led outside. He was immediately glad he had his cloak. It was cold! There was a small layer of show on the ground. Well he was outside now he had to walk around. He turned left and started to walk around the fortress. It was big.

After some time he found a small building that looked like a stable. He should give Roach a hug and talk to her. The trip hadn’t been easy for her.

He opened the door, he had to push hard. Apparently the door was made for witcher strength. Not that that was a problem, of course not. It was dark in the stable. There was a small corridor. He walked in.

He really hoped that they had a more easy way in for the horse. He walked a bit further. Where are the horses? There was a corner. Oh! there were the horses he thought happily.

“Roach'' he said walking around the corner. The smile fell from his face. It wasn’t a stable. Roach definitely wasn’t here.

It looked like it had been a house. Broken chairs lay on the ground, a bookcase lay on the ground. Oh god there was blood, dried blood but it definitely had been blood. A lot of it. It was on the papers on the floor, on the books. Jaskier saw smashed vials and…

Oh know! It was. No it couldn’t be right, a body. A dead body. It wasn’t more a skeleton with clothes. Under that hand of the skeleton laid a sword. A sword like Geralt’s.

There had been a fight in here. The dead body lost. Why was he never buried? He pushed some spider webs away and walked closer into the room.

A force hit him. Suddenly the room was whole again. The chairs stood by a table. A man wearing the same clothes as the dead body was putting books away in the bookcase. There were sounds of fighting.

The man hurried. He took a small blue bag with something in it and opened a big green book. In the book somebody cut a space in the pages. The man put the bag in. He put the book away.

Suddenly there was another man, two men who ran in. The man took a sword. There was a big ugly fight. Jaskier tried to look away. But the scene shifted with him so he was unable not to see, more men came in and fought.

The man yelled spells apparently he was a mage or something. A sword cut his neck he fell down in the exact on the same place where the dead body had been. The other man started to search the room.

“Where is it? '' he yelled. Whatever they were looking for they didn’t find it. They took everything apart.

“It isn’t here” somebody said.

“Let the mage lock this place so even if it is still here, they can’t find it. People walked in and out. There was more shouting outside.

A woman walked in. She looked around. Picked up a few vials and put them in her pockets. She started to say spells and then gave the dead body a final kick and left.

Nobody else entered and the sounds outside died. Jaskier suddenly was back in the room with the broken furniture and the skeleton. His eye fell on the green book, it was under the bed.

He slowly walked to it. It was dusty. He picked it up and opened it.

The small blue bag was still in it. His hand was shaking when he got it out. It was heavy. He slowly opened it. In the bag was a necklace the same as Gerat had but then it was gold, pure gold with diamonds on it. It was beautiful, powerful.

He turned the bag around so it fell on his hand. It burned and he dropped it. He had to put it back in the blue bag. So he picked it up quickly, burned his fingers and put it in the bag.

“Jaskier” sounded far away. Somebody was yelling his name. He needed to leave. He turned around and walked back.

The door was even heavier to open now. He walked outside. It was dark. It was dark? What happened? He started to walk back.

“He’s here” somebody yelled. He turned around and saw Lambert running to him.

“Jaskier where were you? you okay? Are you hurt?” He sounded really scared.

Jaskier still didn’t really understand what happened. “Why is it dark? '' he asked.

“What?” Lambert looked lost.

“Jaskier '' it was Geralt's voice. He turned to Geralt. Geralt looked tired, he was sweating and looked scared.

“Why is it dark?” he tried again.

“It’s almost midnight,” Lambert said gently. “What happened”

Geralt moved closer now. “I just went for a walk”.

Geralt shook his head. “And?”

Jaskier looked at the blue bag in his hand. Geralt looked at it as well. “What is it?” he asked.

“It will burn you” Jaskier said. Geralt slowly took the bag and opened it.

“It’s the gold medallion,” he told Lambert.

Lambert moved to him. “What, how? It was lost. Where did you find it? Jaskier”.

Jaskier shook his head. “In a book. I don’t understand how it can be midnight”.

Geralt turned his attention back to him. “Because you have been gone for sixteen hours''.

Jaskier stepped back. “I wasn’t”. He shook his head. “ halve an hour top”.

Geralt looked lost for a moment. “Come let’s get you to bed”, he took Jaskier’s shoulder again.

“No I don’t want to, I want to understand''. He tried to push Geralt’s hand away. Geralt grabbed it and it hurt his burn, he screamed . Geralt didn’t let go but looked at his hand.

“It’s burned bad”. He put his arm around Jaskier and pushed him to the door. “Come”


	11. Locked in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geralt locks Jaskier in his room

**Chapter 11 Locked in**

Jaskier was brought to his bedroom. Geralt took his cloak off and made him sit on the edge of his bed.

“Tell me what happened”.

Jaskier sighed. “I was walking around when I saw a stable, I thought. I went in to see Roach. It was not a stable. There was this room with broken furniture, books and a skeleton”.

Geralt nodded. “Go on”.

Jaskier took a deep breath. “I saw a vision or something, it showed me what happened. I saw a man hide the medallion in a book. Others came, they killed him. They searched the place looking for the medallion I think. The was a woman, a mage or sorceress who said some spells. When the vision was over I saw the book and found the medallion. Then I went outside and it was dark”.

Geralt took his burned hand. “Are you hurt anywhere else?” Jaskier shook his head.

“No, what happened Geralt?” Geralt let go of his hand.

“We were attacked. Years ago. The man you found was our mage. He made the potions for the mutations. He was killed and his room was sealed by strong wards by the sorcerers you saw. We couldn’t go in. Apparently those wards didn’t work on humans. Our mage loved to show us visions. I think he put a spell on the room to show the vision to anyone who entert. He knew he was going to die. He did it so we could find the medallion”.

Jaskier let it sink in. “What is it for a medallion?”.

Geralt took the blue bag out his pocket. “It belonged to the first witchers of our school. It used to be displayed in the great hall. It’s worth a lot of money. Only witchers of the school of wolves can touch it. We protect it with our lives. It always thought it was gone”.

He takes the medallion out. “Well, it's back now”.

Geralt nodded. “I need to give this to Vesemir. It’s important to him”. He stood up. “I will send Eskel quickly with food and something for your hand”.

Jaskier sighed. ‘No need I can take care of it myself and find something to eat after’.

Geralt shook his head. ‘You spend sixteen hours being exposed to heavy magic. There can be side effects. It’s best if someone supervised you for the next couple of days’ he said.

‘You mean babysit. I am not a child,’ Jaskier said angry.

‘No, it’s for your own good. You should never have entered the mage house’ Geralt said back.

‘Then you wouldn’t have found the medallion’ Jaskier was screaming now.

‘Not the point. It was irresponsible. You don’t want a babysitter then act like an adult. No walking in strange, dangerous houses. You knew the fort wasn’t safe’ Geralt was yelling as well.

‘I don’t need your protection’ Jaskier got out of his bed. ‘I’m leaving I don’t want to spend the rest of the winter with you’.

‘You can’t, the path is full of snow. You can’t leave until spring’ Gerald said at bit calmer.

‘I will try anyway’ Jaskier was walking to the door.

‘We talk when you are calm’ Geralt walked out of the door and locked it!

Jaskier tried to open the door. ‘Open the door’ he yelled. He hit the door. Nothing happened. He wasn’t angry anymore he was furious! He screamed and kicked the door. He kicked it for the mermaid, for thinking Geralt died, for the prison guard. Tears rolled over his cheeks.

He moved to his bed and fell down on it. He cried and hit and kicked his mattress.

He felt hands on him, trying to move him. Jaskier tried to get out of them. He recognized Eskel. Eskel moved him in his lap lifting him so his head was on his shoulder. Eskel rocked him, holding him in his strong arms.

Eskel didn’t say anything for a long time, not until Jaskier was half asleep and almost calm. ‘Feel better?’ He asked.

Jaskier nodded and he did feel better. ‘I’m sorry’.

‘It’s okay, you must be exhausted. The attack on Kaer Morhen wasn’t pretty. I’m sure that having to watch that for sixteen hours was terrible’.

‘I couldn’t look away, when I did the vision moved as well. I saw everything that happened’.

‘You want to tell me what you saw?’ Eskel laid him down on the bed.

‘No’ Eskel nodded and took his hand. ‘Can I do something about this?’

Jaskier nodded. Eskel put salve on it and bandaged his hand. ‘Sleep or eat’ Eskel asked then.

‘Sleep’ Jaskier didn’t feel that well. He wasn’t sure he could handle eating.

Eskel took his boots off and lifted the blanket.

‘Sweet dreams’, Jaskier closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

Jaskier was sitting on the beach and the mermaid was swimming in front of him.

‘Murderer, you are a murderer. I was only kissing you’ she climbed on the beach. ‘I didn’t hurt you. You let them slaughter me’.

Her big eyes were in front of his face now. ‘You saw how much it hurt the mage to die.

She pushed him in the water. He tried to breath. He couldn’t.

‘The guard, the mayor, me we are all dead because of you. Because of one stupid little bard, we had families. You don’t! Who was more important?

He was drowning and she was right. So many died because of him.

He was dying, he tried to breathe one more time.

His eyes flew open, he moved to sit up, he was breathing heavily.

‘Jaskier’ Geralt was there. He gripped Geralt his shirt tightly.

‘Geralt’ he hiccuped still not getting enough air. ‘I’m drowning’.

‘Your not, take deep breaths’ Jaskier tried. It didn’t work. He practically climbed on Geralt. ‘I’m dying, do something’.

Geralt took his head between his hands. ‘Your not’.

It took some time but Jaskier didn’t die, his breathing calmed. He embarrassedly climbed out of Geralt's lap. He remembered that Geralt and he had a fight.

‘I’m still angry’ he said just to be clear.

‘I’m not’ Geralt said. ‘I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I knew you were scared. I guess I was scared too. I looked for you all day. I was afraid I messed up again and that you died. I shouldn’t have let you unsupervised in your room in the state you were. You could have seriously hurt yourself in your tantrum. I’m glad Eskel realized that and went to calm you’.

Jaskier couldn’t believe it! ‘Your not sorry for locking me in! You're only sorry for not leaving a babysitter! I don’t have a tantum, I was furious with you. I still am. How dare you to decide that I cannot leave my room or be on my own! He yelled.

‘Jaskier calm down, we are not going to fight again. Locking you in your room was for your own good. You weren’t thinking straight I couldn’t risk you to really try and leave the keep’. Geralt said, looking seriously.

‘You don’t decide if I’m going to fight you or not. I don’t need you Geralt! I'm fine by myself’. Geralt shook his head and he didn’t answer.

‘Nothing to say’ again Geralt didn’t react he just leaned back in his chair.

‘So now you are ignoring me. Speaking about childish behavior’ Jaskier yelled.

Jaskier climbed out of his bed. No way he was going to sleep again now. The nightmare could come back. He picked up his notebook and sat down by the fire. He slowly started working on a new song.


	12. No dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier tries a potion against nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Talk about suicide  
> Geralt thinks Jaskier overdose wasn’t an a accident.

**Chapter 12 No dreams**

Jaskier was sitting in the potions room. He was tired and didn’t even fight Geralt when he was brought to Vesemir. Vesemir didn’t say much to him. He focused on his work.

‘Do you make swallow and kiss?’ he asked because it was boring.

‘I do and I make human potions to sell in the village’ Vesemir said without looking up.

‘What kind of human poisons do you make?’ Jaskier hadn’t expected that.

‘Simple things, painkillers, sleeping potions, No dreams, sometimes something against infection things like that’ Vesemir gave him a book. ‘All the poisons I make are in there. I can read it if you like’.

Jaskier opened the book. Most things were simple. He stopped at the page for No dreams. It was a pink poison that made you sleep without dreams. He could use some of this. It would make sure he wouldn’t embarrass himself after a nightmare anymore.

He looked around. He spotted the pink bottle easy enough. There were only three of them. Jaskier stood up and slowly walked around in the room. He studied every poison intensely. When he reached the pink bottle he quickly put all three in his pocket.

‘I’m going to see Geralt’ he told Vesemir.

‘I will walk you’ Vesemir stood up and Jaskier sighed heavily before following the old witcher.

Geralt was fixing a wall with Eskel.

‘Here is Jaskier’ Vesemir said and he turned to walk back.

‘How are you Jaskier?’ Eskel asked.

‘Fine, I’m bored’ he told them.

‘Well watching us fix the wall is boring. Why didn’t you stay with Vesemir?’ Geralt said.

‘That was boring as well’

‘I could get your lute and then you could play for us’ Eskel suggests.

‘’No’ Jaskier was tired and his hands were shaking a bit. Playing his lute was the last thing he needed right now.

‘What would you like to do then?’ Eskel asked, handing Geralt a big stone.

‘Sleep’ Jaskier said without thinking.

‘You should have slept last night instead of writing in your notebook’ Geralt told him.

‘That’s not nice Geralt’ Eskel said before Jaskier could react.

‘It’s true’ Geralt told his brother.

‘Not the point Geralt. We talked about this’.

‘You talked about me’ Jaskier asked, feeling angry.

‘Of course we did’ Geralt said looking annoyed at him.

‘Why?’ Jaskier tried to catch Geralt's eyes.

`We didn’t gossip, we were worried about you’ Eskel said calmly.

‘You don’t need to worry about me and I’m going to bed now if you like it or not’ he turned and walked away.

He was surprised nobody followed him. He took off his clothes, drank the bottle of no dream and climbed in his bed.

…….

‘Jaskier’ someone was saying his name. He was still tired.

‘Jaskier, please wake up’ please? Was it Geralt? Was Geralt saying please?

‘Jaskier’ someone hit his cheeks. He tried to catch the hand but his arm wouldn’t move. He slowly opened his eyes. Geralt was leaning over him. He didn’t look good.

‘That’s it Jaskier opened your eyes’ Geralt was being extremely gentle with him.

‘Ger…’ he couldn’t finish the sentence, he was so tired.

‘Sssh you overdosed on No dream. You almost died Jaskier. Vesemir had an antidote but you were unconscious for three days’. Jaskier panicked, three days!

‘What’ how he just took one potion.

‘You drink a bottle that is deadly. You are supposed to at two drops to a glass water. Jaskier’ Geralt closed his eyes.

‘Vesemir said he let you read the book. Did you do it on purpose? Did you…. Did you want to die?’ Geralt had a tear on his cheek. Geralt started to cry, Jaskier never saw Geralt cry before. Jaskier froze. He needed to comfort Geralt. To tell him it wasn’t true. He tried to talk. No words came out.

‘You did’ Geralt moved back. Jaskier tried to shake his head ‘no’ he said it sounded too quiet.

‘Oh fuck Jaskier’ Geralt moved to the window he put his hands on his head. He was crying. Jaskier tried to move he needed to tell Geralt it was an accident. He couldn’t move.

Geralt turned back to him kneeling next to the bed taking Jaskier his hand. ‘I promise, I will do better. I will take care of you better. You are the most important thing to me’.

Jaskier felt his eyes slip, he couldn't sleep, he needed to tell Geralt it was an accident! He tried to talk but no sound came out.

…..

The next time he woke up he felt better. He could move again and talk. Lambert was asleep in a chair. Jaskier slowly moved to sit up, he needed to find Geralt. Since when did sitting up cost so much energy. He took a deep breath and moved his legs.

He had to take a deep breath again before standing up. The whole room moved. He spread his arms to keep his balance, he closed his eyes. Lambert was still asleep when he opened his eyes.

He was exhausted when he reached the kitchen fully expecting to find Geralt there. He collapsed in a chair he was sweating and shivering at the same time.

Why wasn’t Geralt here? Maybe he was fixing a wall outside. He made himself stand up again and moved to the door.

The snow hurt his bare feet but he welcomed the cold. It was snowing. He looked around but didn’t see Geralt anywhere.

He couldn’t do this anymore. He was so tired. He needed to sit down. He fell forwards in the snow. ‘Geralt help me, I need you’ he whispered.

‘Jaskier’ Geralt was next to him. Lifting him up.

‘Geralt I need you’ Jaskier said.

‘Ssh I’m here’ Geralt carried him inside.

‘I need to talk to you’ Jaskier tried to get Geralt's attention.

‘We will talk later’ Geralt told him.

‘I didn’t read the book, I only looked at the pictures. I didn’t know. I wasn’t trying to kill myself’ he looked at Geralt who looked down at him.

‘We will talk later’ Geralt said, he probably didn’t believe him.

‘I swear it Geralt, it was an accident. I just didn’t want to look like a baby anymore with nightmares’ he needed Geralt to believe him.

‘I know you're not lying, I can hear it in your heartbeat’ Geralt said he sounded relieved.

‘Good, that’s really good’ Geralt walked Jaskier to his bed, Lambert was still sleeping. He woke up when Geralt kicked his leg.

‘What, is he awake? Lambert jumped up.

‘I found him outside. I trusted you to watch him. Get out’ Geralt placed Jaskier back in his bed.

Lambert walked out of the room.

‘You will feel better soon. Try to sleep some more’ Geralt kissed his forehead before leaving the room yelling for Lambert.

….

It took Jaskier a week before he was back on his feet. He and Geralt had a lot of long talks. Some were lectures about the dangers of potions. Others were about Roach or dreams. Geralt told him about the things that haunted him in his dreams. Geralt agreed that Jaskier didn’t need a babysitter anymore as long he promised to think before he acted.

Today Jaskier was officially better. There was one thing left to do. He had to face Vesemir.

Vesemir was sitting in the kitchen. ‘Vesemir’ he started.

‘Yes Jaskier’ Vesemir responded.

‘I’m sorry I stole you potions. I really regret it’ he didn’t dare to look at Vesemir.

‘You stole from me in my own home. I invited you here as a guest. I trusted you’ Vesemir was talking slowly. He didn't sound angry, just really disappointed.

‘I’m sorry I will pay you back. I didn’t think…’ Vesemir stood up. He walked over to Jaskier.

‘I know you didn’t think and that is your problem. You don’t think about the effects of your actions. You end up hurting yourself and others. Paying me back won’t learn you your lesson. I will teach you. You will spend two hours a day with me for the rest of the winter’.

‘What’ Jaskier wasn’t looking forward to that. Vesemir was fair but he made the witchers work hard.

‘I will see you every day at six in the morning outside. You will start your day with training’. Vesemir walked past him out of the room.

Jaskier watched him walk away. He did want to train but at six! He usually slept longer than that. He guessed he had no choices.


	13. Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vesemir trains Jaskier

**Chapter 13 training**

Eskel had woken him up at six. So now he was standing here half asleep with a wooden sword in his hand. It was still dark outside and it was snowing a bit. Jaskier was cold.

Jaskier was trying to attack Lambert while Vesemir watched. Eskel and Geralt were doing some hand to hand combat.

Lambert blocked all of Jaskier's attacks easily. Vesemir yelled directions from the side. ‘Keep your balance’, ‘watch your left foot’, ‘try to move faster’. Jaskier tried very hard but it was just so difficult.

He fell down in the snow again. His clothes were completely soaken. ‘Get up and try again. It only has been half an hour’ Vesemir said.

Jaskier sighed half an hour? It felt like way more. He slowly got up again. Raising his sword trying to hit Lambert. Lambert avoided his attack and moved to Jaskier. He raised his sword and hit Jaskier his writ hard. Jaskier dropped his sword. Lambert didn’t stop his attack. He pushed him on the ground and pinned him down.

‘Try to kick him,’ Vesemir said. Jaskier tried he really did. Lambert was faster kicking him and pinning his legs under his. It hurt! Lambert pushed his head in the snow. Jaskier tried to get out, there was snow in his face, in his mouth.

‘Enough’ Geralt yelled. Lambert let go of him and Jaskier looked up. Geralt was leaning over him.

‘Are you okay’ Jaskier nodded sitting up.

‘Geralt what are you doing? He is fine. He needs this’ Vesemir walked over to them.

‘No he doesn’t need it like this. You need to take it easy with him’ Geralt said.

‘No Geralt, you always take things too easy with him. He needs this. The soft approach only got him in trouble. I never went easy on you remember’.

Geralt roughly helped Jaskier to his feet. ‘I was a witcher, he is just human’.

‘I trained human boys before. Much younger than he is. Don’t baby him Geralt he needs this. Or do you want him to continue to steal, lie, misbehave’.

‘No, but…’ Geralt started.

Vesemir stopped him. ‘No, that’s what I thought. You can handle this right’ Vesemir was looking at Jaskier.

‘Yes’ he didn’t want to look weak. Apparently younger kids could handle this.

‘Then pick up your sword and attack Lambert’ Jaskier picked up his sword and ran towards Lambert again. Lambert stepped aside and kicked his leg. Jaskier fell face down in the snow again.

Lambert jumped at him. ‘Try to turn around’ Vesemir said. Jaskier did but Lambert pushed his head down in the snow. Jaskier tried to fight but there was too much snow. He couldn’t breath! He started to panic.

‘Fight’ Vesemir yelled somewhere.

Lambert was pushed off. Jaskier felt two hands pick him up. He was turned around. Geralt was looking at him. He was glad to see Geralt, he couldn’t do this anymore. It was too much and too cold,

‘Your done for today’ Jaskier tried to catch his breath.

‘I can do it’ he said.

‘No’ Geralt took his arm and moved him inside the fort. They were walking to the hot springs. Geralt helped him undress and placed him in the water.

‘Try to relax’ Geralt undressed as well and sat down next to him.

‘You have nothing to prove’ Geralt told him.

Jaskier looked up ‘I have. You heard Vesemir. Younger boys were able to handle more than I could. Maybe his right. Maybe I get in trouble so much because I'm not strong enough or smart enough. I should be glad that he is willing to help me’ Jaskier not only tried to convince Geralt but also himself.

‘Nah, you don’t have to change. Your just young. You miss life experience. That’s fine. You will learn. Vesemir is wrong. I will train you myself. Vesemir doesn’t understand you’.

‘And you do? Jaskier asked.

‘Yes, I think I do. And even if I don’t. To Vesemir you are just some boy. To me you are my boy. My responsibility’.

Jaskier sunk a bit deeper in the hot spring. He kinda liked to be Geralt's boy, his responsibility. Even though he tried so hard to be independent. The past few weeks made him realize that he needed someone to look out for him.

‘Thank you’ he whispered. He knew Geralt would hear him.

‘For what?’

‘For always looking out for me, for helping me. For saving my life. I tried so hard to show you I didn’t need it but that isn’t true. I do need you Geralt. I do need you to look out for me. I do need you to take responsibility for my life sometimes. Thank you for doing that’.

Geralt pulled him closer. ‘Your welcome. But you must know that I’m proud of you. I don’t think you really need me most of the time. You will be fine on your own. But you don’t have to be yet. We will travel for some time. I will show you how life works. How to survive, not to get hurt. But Jaskier other than Vesemir thinks you don’t have to change not ever. You are just perfect the way you are’.

‘Really? Jaskier asked surprised.

‘Yes, absolutely’.

The door flew open and Lambert walked in. He undressed and jumped in the hot spring. ‘I’m sorry Jaskier, I went too far’.

‘You did’ Geralt said.

‘I just listened to Vesemir, I didn’t think for myself’ Lambert said.

‘You see Jaskier, even old Lambert forgets to think sometimes. You are not the only one with that problem’. Geralt ruffles his hair.

‘It’s fine Lambert. You did your best. But next time I will train with Geralt’ he leaned closer to Geralt.

‘That’s fine with me’ Lambert said while he relaxed.

Jaskier lay his head on Geralt's shoulder. Closing his eyes. ‘I love you’ he whispered.

Geralt kissed his head. ‘I love you too’.

They both smiled, they felt happy, relaxed and loved. Everything would be fine as long they were together.

End.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Kudos are greatly appreciated!
> 
> (I know about the spelling errors, I did my best)
> 
> If you want to chat, beta-read a story, have a plot suggestion for me or something completely different I’m Kapoentjes on Tumblr. I love writing so if you like something specific let me know 😊  
> Link Tumblr: https://kapoentjes.tumblr.com/


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